Before clg

Lately, my life has been a complete mess. A lot has happened over the past few months, but the story really begins when I moved from Allahabad to Delhi. Everything was new—new people, a new environment, a new city, and a completely different kind of exposure. At first, I thought it would be exciting. Instead, it became one of the darkest periods of my life. The school I joined turned out to be the worst experience I have ever had. I was bullied relentlessly. And when I say relentlessly, I mean almost every single day. My classmates constantly made racist jokes about me, mocked me, and treated me like I didn't belong. At that age, I didn't know how to fight back. All I could do was go home and cry. I was raised to be respectful, and because of the values my parents taught me, I could never bring myself to abuse them back the way they abused me. So I stayed silent and endured it. Ironically, the same people who insulted me were the ones who came to me whenever they needed help with studies. I would still help them, even after everything they put me through. Somewhere during that time, I developed a small crush on a girl named Avani. She was way out of my league—or at least that's what I convinced myself. I rejected myself before I ever gave myself a chance. Nothing ever happened, and life continued as usual. From Class 8 to Class 10, that became my reality: getting mocked, getting hurt, staying silent, and helping the very people who made my life miserable. After Class 10, I left that school and enrolled in a dummy school so that I could focus entirely on preparing for IIT-JEE. I worked hard, and during my first attempt at JEE Advanced, I failed. Not because I was academically weak, but because of several external factors that affected my preparation and performance. It was devastating. But I wasn't ready to give up. I took a drop year because deep down, I knew I was capable of doing much better. My father is a professor at a coaching institute, and I had always dreamed of proving to myself that I could make it into an IIT. So I started over. Under my father's guidance, I returned to the same coaching institute and immersed myself in preparation once again. Everything was going normally until one day. After our regular classes, some of us used to sit with the Class 11 students for doubt sessions. One day, I noticed a girl there. She always wore a mask because of the COVID protocols, so I never really saw her face clearly. Over time, I became friends with some of the students there. I was comfortable around them, and maybe she noticed that too. One day, while I was solving some problems, I looked up and saw her standing near me, quietly staring at my notebook. I asked, "What happened?" She pointed at the questions I was solving and asked about them. It was barely a two-minute conversation. For most people, that would have been nothing. For me, it was everything. It was the first time in my life that a girl had walked up to me on her own and started a conversation. For the first time, I felt noticed. Recognized. Like I wasn't invisible. Around the same time, I had also started going to the gym, and slowly my appearance and confidence were beginning to change. At coaching, I often helped juniors with their doubts after class. One day, she came to me with some chemistry questions. The funny thing was that chemistry wasn't even my strongest subject at the time. Still, I tried my best to help her. And when I couldn't solve something properly, I went back home and studied it until I understood it well enough to explain it to her. What started as helping her with doubts gradually became one of the biggest motivations in my life. Without realizing it, I was studying harder than ever before. I wanted to be someone capable. Someone dependable. Someone she could come to for help. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love. She never knew how much she inspired me. She never knew that many of the extra hours I spent studying were because I wanted to be able to answer her questions. She never knew that her simple conversations could brighten an entire week for me. But she changed me. Because of her, I pushed myself harder. Because of her, I became more disciplined. Because of her, I started believing in myself. And eventually, I cleared JEE Main, qualified JEE Advanced, and earned admission to IIT Mandi. After the results were announced, she came to congratulate me. She met my mother and my sister as well. I remember feeling proud—not because I had cracked JEE, but because someone who meant so much to me was standing there, sharing that moment with my family. I told my mother and sister about her. I told them how I felt. Because she wasn't just another crush. She was the first girl who ever made me feel seen. The first person who made me feel valued without asking for anything in return. The first person who unknowingly gave me a reason to believe in myself when I needed it the most. She was my first love. And even today, when I look back at that phase of my life, I realize that some people enter our lives not to stay forever, but to change us forever. For me, she was one of those people.