Clg time 1st and 2nd year

Then my college journey began. Getting into IIT Mandi was supposed to be the moment when everything finally started falling into place. I had worked for years to reach that point. I had survived bullying, academic pressure, self-doubt, and one of the toughest entrance exams in the country. But reality was very different from what I had imagined. The first semester was one of the most difficult phases of my life. I was extremely homesick. For the first time, I was away from my family, away from everything familiar, and surrounded by people I had never met before. The new environment, new faces, and completely different lifestyle overwhelmed me. I talked to a lot of people and tried to make friends, but I couldn't find a place where I truly felt comfortable. I couldn't find a group where I felt like I belonged. The loneliness slowly started affecting me. My studies suffered because I couldn't focus. My mind was constantly distracted by thoughts of home, my family, and the life I had left behind. To make things worse, I was bullied again. And yes, I cried. A lot. More than I would ever admit to most people. But somehow, being treated badly had become so normal in my life that I almost expected it. It felt like history was repeating itself. Even my hostel room never felt like a safe space. I had no problems with my roommate personally, but his friends would constantly occupy our room. There was always noise, conversations, and distractions. I rarely got any peace. As the semester progressed, my grades began to fall. Watching that happen hurt more than anything. For years, academics had been the one thing I could always rely on. The one thing that gave me confidence. And now even that was slipping away. I felt like all the potential I had worked so hard to build was being wasted. Instead of fixing things, I escaped. I started playing video games excessively. At first, they felt like a distraction from reality. Then they became an addiction. Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks. Looking back now, that was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Gaming wasn't solving my problems—it was simply helping me ignore them. And while all of this was happening, I missed her. A lot. I had no way to contact her. For months, she existed only as memories from coaching classes, doubt sessions, and conversations that had once motivated me to become a better version of myself. Then one day, through a friend, I somehow managed to get her Telegram ID. I hesitated before texting. I simply asked, "How are you?" "And do you remember me?" For an entire month, there was no reply. Then one day, a message appeared. She replied. I still remember how happy I felt. I asked her how she was doing, how her studies were going, and what she was doing these days. That night, we talked for hours. Coincidentally, I was traveling back home after my first semester had ended. All my friends were with me—Lakshit, Arth, Alok, Aditya, and Khushi. And every single one of them could see exactly what was happening. The moment her messages appeared on my phone, I couldn't stop smiling. I was blushing like an idiot. Everyone noticed. At that time, Khushi and Aditya were dating, so naturally they teased me about it even more. For the first time in months, I felt genuinely happy. We got back in touch. As she continued preparing for JEE, I helped guide her whenever she needed academic advice. There was, however, one very ironic detail. She used to call me "Bhaiya." And she still does. From her perspective, it was a sign of respect. From my perspective, it was probably the worst title she could have given me. But life has a strange sense of humor, and sometimes all you can do is laugh and accept it. The first semester eventually ended. During the vacations, I decided to do something productive and started learning programming. The second semester was definitely better than the first. I had adjusted to college life a little more. Things were improving. But some habits still held me back. I continued spending too much time playing games, and once again, I wasted opportunities that I should have used more wisely. Meanwhile, my conversations with her gradually became less frequent. There was no fight. No dramatic ending. Life simply moved forward, and our conversations became shorter and less frequent over time. Then my second year began. During the summer break, I became serious about my future again. I started learning Machine Learning, Data Structures, and Algorithms. For the first time in a while, I felt focused. My third semester went well academically. My grades improved significantly, and one of the proudest moments of that semester was when my team secured First Runner-Up position in the Design Practicum course. It felt good to finally achieve something again. To finally feel capable again. But then came another vacation. And once again, instead of studying consistently, I spent most of my time playing games. The cycle repeated itself. When my fourth semester started, things initially seemed fine. But then I received a backlog in Geotechnical Engineering. That setback hit hard. At the same time, hostel life became even more challenging. We had four people sharing a single room. There was barely any personal space. My roommates spent a lot of time gaming, and one of them was heavily involved in smoking and related habits. The environment around me wasn't ideal for growth or discipline. But as much as I wanted to blame circumstances, I knew part of the responsibility was mine as well. Nobody forced me to waste my time. Nobody forced me to lose focus. Some of the mistakes were my own. And accepting that was difficult. Then came another break. This time, things were different. Instead of wasting it, I studied seriously. I dedicated myself to coding and finally began developing a strong command over programming concepts. For the first time, I felt like I was building something meaningful for my future. Life in the hostel remained chaotic. Ironically, my roommates' girlfriends would sometimes call me to check whether they were awake or attending classes. I somehow became the unofficial caretaker of the room. I also stayed in touch with Khushi from time to time. Nothing extraordinary—just normal conversations, exchanging notes, discussing assignments, and helping each other academically. Simple interactions. But sometimes those small connections are what make difficult phases of life a little easier to get through. Looking back at those first two years of college, I don't see a story of success or failure. I see a story of confusion. A constant battle between discipline and distraction. Between potential and comfort. Between the person I wanted to become and the person I often settled for being. Some semesters I won. Some semesters I lost. But through all of it, life kept moving forward.